Call the Grammar Police

Bogart and Bacall.
Bogart and Bacall in The Big Sleep.
Bogart and Bacall.
Bogart and Bacall in The Big Sleep.

What if Strunk and White were detectives handling a noir beat? Juliana Gray and Erica Dawson, writers and poets and teachers both, took a big run at the answer for The Millions.

BEAT COP
It’s over here, detectives. The body was found about an hour ago.
STRUNK
Use the active voice, rookie.
BEAT COP
Oh god, it’s horrible. I feel nauseous.
STRUNK
Unless you mean you’re sickening to contemplate, you mean “nauseated.” Now get out of my crime scene before you puke all over it.

The full piece will leave you laughing, and it’s here.

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