The walking dead have had more than their share of attention over the past few years. But what about the newly dead? Hardly anyone cares about them at all. And that’s a concern because, according Domencik Dicce’s You’re a Vampire: That Sucks! (Tarcher/Penguin) if you’ve recently been turned into a vampire, it’s statistically likely you won’t survive your first year.
The transition will be one of the biggest moments in your undead life, and nothing is harder than the first year. Most vampires are killed within this time. My only hope is that this book makes your transition smoother and safer than mine was. The knowledge I share could be the difference between an eternity of happiness and a lifetime of brooding alone in misery until you become an untimely pile of dust blowing away in the wind.
While the idea behind You’re A Vampire is not terrible, the execution is not as sharp as it could be. You feel like it should be hilarious, but somehow it’s just not all that funny. Maybe it’s that we’ve reached an odd place in history. With madness coming from unexpected places, and surreality as close as the evening news, it sucks the fun out of what might otherwise be an enjoyable spoof. Or maybe it’s just not as funny as it could be. Either way, vampire fans will gobble this up. The rest of us mortals might find it less enchanting. ◊