What if Strunk and White were detectives handling a noir beat? Juliana Gray and Erica Dawson, writers and poets and teachers both, took a big run at the answer for The Millions.
It’s over here, detectives. The body was found about an hour ago.
Use the active voice, rookie.
Oh god, it’s horrible. I feel nauseous.
Unless you mean you’re sickening to contemplate, you mean “nauseated.” Now get out of my crime scene before you puke all over it.
The full piece will leave you laughing, and it’s here.